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The Amazing Spider-Man 2

I love Spider-Man. He is my favorite comic book character of all time. I love the fact that at his core, he is just a smart-ass kid. He’s not rich like Bruce Wayne, Oliver Queen, or Tony Stark. He wasn’t born with these powers like a certain Man O’ Steel that we all know. Nope, he lucked into his powers by being bit by a spider.

amazing spider-man 2

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield

Being a ‘Spider-Fan’ I have seen the movies, watched the cartoons, played the games, and even worn the underwear. (They are a bit snug but they look cool.) I have consumed enough Spider-related media over the years that I can safely say that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a big pile of crap. After leaving the theater, I wanted to kick this movie in it’s crotch. As it’s a movie and has no crotch, I could not.

It’s not an epically bad movie like Batman and Robin was. It’s more on par with Ang Lee’s The Hulk or either Fantastic Four movie. There are really only two areas of this movie that bring it down, but they are two really big areas.

  1. The Script. The characters are paper thin and cliched. The dialogue is of the caliber that you would expect from the writers and creators of Sleepy Hollow. In movies like this, us ‘fan-boys’ love it when little inside jokes or nods to other characters are in the movie. The inside jokes (like Peter Parker’s phone playing the theme song to the 1967 Spider-Man cartoon) are more shoved down your throat rather than subtle references. As for the nods to other characters in the movie, they are just thrown in there for no good reason. Did B.J. Novak have to even be in the movie, let alone play Alastair Smythe? Did we need Felicity Jones as Felicia, an obvious reference to Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat? Neither character moved the story line closer. A bigger affront was the needless cinematic return of the Paul Giamatti as Rhino. We see him captured by Spider-man, then after all the action and Spider-Man has beaten both Electro and Harry Osborn, we show Rhino in the suit. Needless. Pointless.
  2. The Actors. Before I begin, let me say that I am not talking about the wonderful Chris Cooper, the charming Paul Giamatti or even Jamie Foxx. If you have an actor like Chris Cooper, use him. Especially if you have Chris Cooper playing Norman Osborn. Think about that for a second and imagine what an actor the caliber of Chris Cooper could do with Norman Osborn. Now forget that because this movie just has him laying on a bed dying. That is A) a waste of a great actor and B) a waste of a great character. Paul Giamatti fares just a little better having really only two scenes. We do, however get way too much of the human dimple Dane DeHaan. Mr. DeHaan might be a fine actor but he has chosen to portray Harry as an uninteresting douche who has some disease that is never explained and then takes spider venom to turn into the Green Goblin. (Harry is supposed to be a douche, that is not at question. It’s the uninteresting part that I have a problem with.)

The movie does handle the Gwen Stacey story correctly, so that’s good. It even puts her in a dress that reminds us of the comics.amazing spider-man 2

But that is really not enough.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I would have to give it a 5 and two middle fingers.