Look, everyone knows superheroes aren’t real. (And if you don’t, please seek professional help. No, seriously. Call someone. I’m actually concerned for you.) But everyone who follows the antics of their favorite 3-color dime-store hero has conjectured at least once, probably more, what a REAL superhero would be like. In this weekly article, I will explore that notion as I contend to you that ALL SUPERHEROES ARE DEEPLY DISTURBED INDIVIDUALS. Seriously, there is not a well-adjusted person among them. Now, people have done the Marvel heroes to death: Tony Stark is an addict, Steve Rogers has PTSD, Bruce Banner has anger management issues, Logan is a sociopath, heck because most of the Marvel heroes came about in the ‘60s, they were TAILOR-MADE to be broken. But the true icons of modern superheroism came about in the late-‘30s, early-‘40s, a time when America needed paragons of human virtue. But if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find out some interesting things.
In this week’s article, I’m going to focus on Aquaman.
Aquaman is a Narcissist.
I am willing to bet some of you saw this coming. Narcissism is defined by the Mayo Clinic as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.” Okay, so the guy is the king of the ocean, which is a pretty important job, I’m sure. The oceans cover about 70% of the earth’s surface, which is a lot of territory to rule over, considering the largest terrestrial empire has only spanned about a third of the Earth’s land. So basically the largest land-based empire extended to only 33% of 30% of the entire planet’s surface…. So I’m not saying that Aquaman doesn’t have some measure of bragging rights. But he has consistently shown disregard for human life, defends his sea creatures when they attack human interlopers (claiming that the sea belongs to it’s denizens and humans should stay out of it). Further, when he’s not occupied in his duties as King of the Oceans, he consistently demands a measure of adulation and respect that he has not necessarily earned on land. Add it all up, it all spells duh!